oh you made me feel terrible things. cut up, violent things. things i threw up or held down or cried out or sucked in. things i couldn’t write out, things that wouldn’t stay in, things that ruined me.
but you made me feel stupid. foolish. like. i’ve dealt with the worst things. but i can’t scrub out all that god i knew better didn’t i from the seams of me. i never want to feel like that again. like an idiot. like it’s my fault for being dumb. i should have known this would happen.
“you can move an ocean away, make new friends, buzz your hair short, buy new clothes, kiss other girls, quit your job, make new plans, do everything imaginable to erase the life you left behind, but it will scream and ache and rip you apart because try all you might, but you could never erase me. not even if you tried.”—
